I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
