Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
love makes seman taste better
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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