btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
