Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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