Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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