Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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