Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
