You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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