BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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