Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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