If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
