Sry I called you an 8
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
