If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You ruined the universe
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
