who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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