Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
