She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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