similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
