Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I smell stomach acid.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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