im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
