I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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