So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
