i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
