I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
