I want to stick my p in your. b.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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