I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
