We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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