Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
