Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
