she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
