This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
