she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
