Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
