I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
