I CAN MOONWALK!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
