i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
