someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
