he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
