4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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