is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can't special order awesome
Just cropdusted the office
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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