The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
