i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize