ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize