Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
