and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
