I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
