dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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