This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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