i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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