Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
