im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
