my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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