Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am naked and annoyed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
