Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
