I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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