Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
