I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize