Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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