Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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