Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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