we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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